Mes: febrero 2022

The poet Oscar Wild, wrote these moving lines: «Children begin by loving their parents. After some time, they judge their parents. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them». It is a well known fact that the well-being of today’s children is inseparable from the peace, progress and prosperity of tomorrow’s world. It is, therefore, important that children be nurtured in an environmentally sustainable pattern to promote national and global peace and progress. The importance of their welfare was underlined during the World Summit for Children in September, 1990, held under the auspices of the United Nations International Children Education Fund (UNICEF) where world leaders maintained that «unless the investment in children is made, all of humanity’s most fundamental long-term problems will remain fundamental long term problems».

Put succinctly, children are a country’s most precious assets and they demand the highest priority on both national and international investments. In spite of this open acknowledgment of the importance of their survival to our collective global future, evidence abounds that children are facing the worst tragedy in the world today. In a recent seminar organised by the United Nations non-government liaison services in Geneva, participants at the seminar from more than 120 countries were in agreement that «millions of children around sub-Saharan Africa live under especially difficult circumstances where special protection measures are required to enable them enjoy fulfillment of their basic rights». These children in addition to being poor, are exploited, abused, abandoned, neglected, disabled and deprived of liberty.

The greatest manifestations of child abuse, exploitation, deprivation and neglect are very obvious in situations where children are used as a veritable source of cheap labour, soldiers, and prostitutes against their innocent and passive will. Many children seldom report cases of such abuses against them and most child abusers rely on this fact to continue in their wicked acts. Child labour thrives in our societies today mainly because some employers consider it cheaper to employ and over-work children who have very weak resistance to exploitation and oppression than adults. Such employers often betray and take undue advantage of the innocence of children’s dependence and trust. Families also use child labour to make additional income. While some of the hapless children are engaged in domestic duties of hawking goods, others are made to do hard labour meant for adults. Some Non-Governmental Organisations, (NGOs) have continued to express their concern over this unfair practice that is conducted not only in Nigeria, but also in other countries of the world. In an interview granted to a newsmagazine, Mr. A.C. Onukwue, a director of Media Environment Initiative (MEI) in Nigeria said that «children as young as eight years old are being subjected to a bland agreement by their parents to serve as slaves all their childhood and youths in the name of apprenticeship».

Those working as domestic servants are the most exploited and most difficult to protect. Most of them are girls who live with their employers and are totally dependent on them. The United Nations Organisation (UNO) and the Organisation of African Unity (OAU) have made some legal provisions in their bid to checkmate this growing monster. Article 32 of the United Nations Convention of the rights of the child and article XV of the Organisation of African Unity Charter on the rights and welfare of the child, unanimously condemn child labour in all its ramifications. The two articles recognize «the rights of the child to be protected from economic exploitation and from performing any work that is likely to be hazardous, or to interfere with the child’s education or physical, mental, spiritual, moral or social developments». In Asia, South America and some migrant communities in the United States, it has been reported that children even as young as five years of age are forced into what can be termed «slave labour». They work like little robots in dreadful conditions that damage their immature bodies and minds. Most of them have no education, are homeless and deprived of parental love and care.

Children as Child-Labourers

Most people have argued that the main cause of child labour is poverty. Others are economic and social inequality, war, unemployment, broken homes and juvenile delinquency. The merchants of children peddle stories of pleasurable life awaiting the kids in the cities in order to entice their victims from their poverty-stricken parents. Most poor parents swallow such stories hook, line and sinker and so inadvertently release their children to the slave merchants. Because of the nature of their minds, children believe what they are told by adults without reservation. Some of them on hearing such false stories of bright future awaiting them at imaginary lands, sometimes sneak away from their homes to be taken away without their parents’ knowledge. Most of them also follow child merchants because their parents find it difficult to feed, clothe and train them in school. Though many children in the advanced industrial nations and in some urban centers of the Third World countries enjoy good care and welfare, yet it is obvious that majority of them in some rural and urban areas whose parents are living below subsistence level are more often exposed to this risk. The situation has been considered dangerous enough that it was brought to focus in 1997 at a forum organised by the International Labour Organisation (ILO) and the United Nations International Children Education Fund (UNICEF) for jourlalists in Lagos to deliberate upon. The theme of the forum was The Impact of Child Labour on Development. Participants at the forum agreed that child labour exists in Nigeria as in other parts of the world. It is interesting to note that most of these unsuspecting children lured from their homes in Nigeria are taken to Gabon in Central Africa and other neighbouring countries where they are subjected to the highest form of child abuse.

Children as Articles of Trade

But how widespread are cases of child abuse? Let us at this stage, embark on a historical excursion in order to reveal the extent of abuse and danger our children had been exposed to. On May 30, 1995 when 330 Nigerian deportees arrived in Calabar from Gabon, 109 of them were children below 16 years of age. Again, in March 1996, four students of Ikono Ibom Comprehensive Secondary School, Ikot Aya, Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria were cajoled into embarking on a trip to Gabon by a fellow student. But these students, made up of three girls and a boy whose ages were between 10 and 14 years were lucky as they could not reach their destination. As fate would have it, officers of Nigerian Immigration Service intercepted their boat at the Oron Creek. And in January 1997, 150 Gabon-bound children were rescued from a camp at Mkpanak near Ibeno. Among the children aged between 11 and 18 years were 20 Nigerians. The rest of them came from neighbouring Togo, Benin Republic and Ghana. In February 1997, 86 under aged children were freed after a raid on an uncompleted building at Ibeno, Akwa Ibom State. It was reported that the nefarious dealers on children had intended to ship them to Gabon before they were rescued. A breakdown of the rescued children’s nationalities showed that 25 were from Nigeria, 23 from Togo while 38 were from Benin Republic. Of the 86 kids, 46 were girls.

It is also sad that not all of these children had been lucky. The hapless ones do not get to their destinations and do not live to tell their stories. In January 1996, more than 200 persons perished in the high seas of Ibeno Beach. About 73 per cent of the victims were school children, some of whom were in their school uniforms. These difficult circumstances represent serious hazards and risks to the survival and development of our future generation.

Children as Sex Tools

Apart from child labour and trafficking, sexual harassment is another area of high risk that confronts our children. Convincing indication of the enormity of this crime was tendered at the World Congress Against Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children held in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1996 which was attended by representatives of 130 countries. For instance, it was documented that in several parts of the world, there are millions of young girls, some even as young as 10 years of age who are constrained to work as call girls. After years of physical, mental, and emotional molestation, these girls are scarred for life. In most cases, they surrender to this atrocity simply because they want to eat and stay alive. The option is like choosing between six and half a dozen. As a result of such abuse, some children develop social and psychiatric problems later in life. Furthermore, the activities of pedophiles who occupy influential positions in our society do not help matters. Pedophile refers to a psychological disorder which causes adults to be sexually attracted to children whose sexual experience is nil. In August 1997, a Dublin Chief Judge, Cyril Kelly, committed Reverend Berndan Smith a 72 -year old Roman Catholic priest to 12 years imprisonment for a case involving 74 count charges of indecent and sexual assaults against children. Rev. Smith who admitted to a 36-year career of sex offenses against a total of 26 children in the Republic of Ireland, pleaded guilty to the charges. The Daily Telegraph of June 2, 1998 carried a report on a 44-year old soccer coach who used his position of trust to abuse young boys. He was jailed for nine years after pleading guilty to 23 specimen charges against children. The Chester Crown Court was told that from 1978 to 1992, the coach invited boys from the North West and Midlands to stay with him or go on holiday to North Wales and Spain where the offenses took place. According to The Daily Telegraph: «Benndell would take the boys into his trust by offering them the chance of not only training with his teams but also an occasion at Grewe Alexandra and Manchester City».

Children As Child Soldiers

Compounding the tragedy further, there has been an increase in the use of child soldiers in guerrilla armies. Children are easily kidnapped, separated from their parents and siblings and conscripted into the army to fight wars. In such situations they are systematically brutalized, at times by being forced to watch gruesome murder. Some have been ordered to kill their own parents, brothers and/or sisters. Where they find it difficult to carry out these bloody assignments as a result of their innocence, such children are encouraged and compelled to take drugs in order to heighten their killer instinct. In Freetown, Sierra Leone, child soldiers whose innocence had been destroyed by the crimes of a protracted civil war resolved that they were not going to hands-off arms. They took the resolution in October, 1998 when Carol Bellamy the then UNICEF’s head in Sierra Leone, asked them in Bo to surrender their weapons. The child soldiers belonged to the hunter militia group known as Kamajor. In addition, children generally suffer a high death rate during civil or international wars. Most of them die of hunger or hunger related diseases such as kwashiorkor. Because they are fragile and defenseless, they are easy victims in war situations. On August 31, 1997 about 21 children fell into a swimming pool in panic and got drowned in Nsele, 60 kilometers east of Kinshasa, capital city of the Democratic Republic of Congo when some armed troops tried to maintain order in the area. In Northern Uganda, rebels of the Lords Resistance Army (LRA), headed by Joseph Kony, who have been fighting against the Ugandan government have continued to carry out atrocities against children in that country.

It is interesting to note that children are gradually becoming aware of the injustice and oppression against them by the adult world. In July 1997, Eric Ndelema, a councilor from Kaziso, West Rand, was stoned to death by an irate mob of about 200 primary school children. The mob also set his house ablaze. Mary Martins, a sergeant and South African Police spokesman, confirmed the incident that occurred in Johannesburg but said that the motive for the attack was not yet known. If the cause of the attack was not known, perhaps the peaceful demonstration that was carried out by children from January 5 to June 4, 1998 is enough proof that children are gradually getting fed up with the whole game. Pakistan played host to the global march against child labour in April, 1998 as part of a campaign to draw world attention to children’s rights. The campaigners, numbering about 45,000 children from various countries, walked through Manila, Vietnam, Thailand, India and Geneva into the boarder town of Wahgah, 25 kilometers from Lahore, capital of Pakistan, amidst cheers from the citizens. Kailash Trithay, the leader of the demonstration said his group was carrying a message from every working child that «the world should be free of child abuse».

In spite of the above facts, which are by no means exhaustive, it appears that not many countries of the world have taken definitive stand against this global monster of child abuse which is threatening to turn our God-given children into slaves and make this world an unsafe place for those who are undoubtedly our leaders of tomorrow. The situation quickly calls to mind, the admonition of an erudite scholar, Martin Luther King, who once remarked that «the world is full of evil today not because of those who do evil, but because of men who keep silent and watch evil being done».

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The colloquial or slang term for the outlining of a woman’s vulva is known as «cameltoe.» It is sometimes spelt as «camel toe» or «camel-toe.»

It is most apparent when a woman is wearing tight-fitting clothing and more especially apparent if her pubic region is shaved; as the presence of pubic hair can help obscure the outline that is known as «cameltoe.» When tight underwear or swimsuits are worn it can also be readily apparent, especially if water is applied to this form of clothing.

This bilateral puffiness in a woman’s genital region is termed «camel toe,» as its appearance is not unlike that of a camel’s toes. Fancy that. It’s certainly not a very endearing term for a woman’s private parts in appearance and the parallel with a camel can conjure up some very strange thoughts, that’s for sure.

This bilateral puffed region is formed due to the prominence of the labia majora. A woman’s vula contains two pairs of «labia» or lips. The inner lips, that are hairless, are called the labia minora, while the outer and typically hair-dotted lips are called the labia majora. They are paired and usually, but not always, of similar shape and size.

The presence of a distinguished (more visible) «camel-toe» is directly related to the amount of fat deposition in this area. That is, the more fat that is deposited in the labia majora is directly related to their prominence. This is because these lips are filled with fat.

As women age, the fat deposition in these «lips» decreases and the «cameltoe» becomes less marked and apparent. This is one factor that can help ascertain the difference between a younger woman and an older woman, if one is trying to gauge their age by just examining their vulva. The younger woman will typically have more-pronounced «majora» and the older woman will have less-pronounced «majora.»

These protuberances are different in all women and vary in size and shape. Some women have more fatty deposition than other women, as health and genetics play a role in their physical make-up.

The sexual significance of prominent labia majora is two-fold. The first being that they are visually «sexy» in appearance to most men. So they are a factor in getting most men «turned on» sexually and aid in arousal for men. On the other hand, they have an important sexually-based physiological function, as well, that isn’t that well known to a lot of individuals.

That is, these «lips» have a direct effect on a man’s penis during the sexual act. See, they help constrict (and put pressure) on the penis during penile-vaginal sex. The higher the fat content and «puffiness» of these «lips» is directly related to the constriction (gripping) of the penis during its entering and exiting of the vagina. To put it bluntly: The fatter the «camel-toe» the more pleasure a man will «feel» and perceive during sexual intercourse. So, typically, the bigger the better, from a man’s sexual point of view.

As we already mentioned, as the fat content in this area decreases with age, many women (and their male partners) are interested in ways to help restore this «camel-toe» to its earlier, more constricting, and more prominent years.

There are surgical procedures where adipose tissue (fat) is injected into these areas to help restore the puffiness and aid in increasing sexual pleasure for the male during intercourse with this certain female. Such forms of surgery are considered to be «cosmetic» in their application. Many men have stated that there is a noticeable difference with women that have had such injections, from the «before» and «after» point of view.

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According to USA Hockey, colleges and universities all across the nation are recruiting talented and skilled ice hockey players before they are even starting high school.  Verbal commitments are being made between prospects and perennial powerhouses like University of Wisconsin.  Talented players who do not want to take the college route are opting for the major junior system in Canada and then going pro at the young age of 18 or 19.  There is an increasing number of very young players in the National Hockey League, with a handful of them being made captain of their professional squads like Jonathan Toews and Sidney Crosby.  The emergence of young athletes assuming key roles in the elite circles of Division 1 and professional sports makes it appear to younger players that specializing is the way to go.  Ice Hockey is not the only sport identifying talent at unusually young ages.  Major football universities are finding players just beginning high school.  A lot can be said about the physical and mental development of an athlete in high school and college.  Schools like Yale University will not consider a young recruit for their varsity sports because they realize how much can change mentally for a teenager between the ages of 14 and 18.  For them, academic integrity is as important as athletic performance.  Therefore, making a guarantee four years early is not appealing to them.  They want to see where that candidate will be down the road before they make any commitments.  What happened to waiting around and shopping for the best?  We don’t elect Presidents 4 years before they are to take the oath, why should we choose what jersey an athlete will wear before they get there?  If you keep the competition to play close to the actual time they will be doing so, the road to get there will be more about the process and development.

Ten years ago, it was thought that athletes needed more time to develop and gain the competitive edge.  In ice hockey, post graduate programs (PG years) at prep schools and junior teams were common staples to get noticed by competitive college hockey programs.  It was thought that in order to have the edge, you needed the time to develop physically and mentally as well as gain the experience of playing with other like-minded athletes.  When you knew you had a long road ahead of you to make the college and professional ranks, specializing in your sport at 12 was not the smartest thing.  Parents, coaches, and experts worried that applying too much pressure at a young age to perform and excel would cause players to burn out prematurely.

Performance development coaches like myself believe that while players should focus primarily on two sports, that their programs should incorporate skills and abilities required to perform well in as many as 10 other sports or activities.  Even if you do not play baseball, ice hockey players who have the ability to go to a batting cage and hit a high percentage of the pitches.  Hockey players who can play baseball well will have better reaction times on the ice and will be better able to react to pucks in flight from a high shot or at fielding a bad pass.  Likewise, playing soccer is great developmentally for a budding ice hockey player because a lot of very skilled players are very good at carrying and handling the puck with their feet.  Whether your main sport is baseball or ice hockey, you can learn a lot from playing other sports like tennis, soccer, football, etc.

The spectrum is vast regarding what parents think their children should do.  Some want their children to be like Sidney Crosby and will force them to specialize at 8 years old and others want their kids to just have fun and will them do anything they want for however long they want.  Both approaches are bad.  Specializing or being aloof is bad.  The key is to keep the intensity, attention, encouragement, and vigor high with the expectation and pressure low.  Young athletes should be taught discipline, passion, a love for training and the sport, and heart.  The road to intercollegiate and professional sports is long.  The people who make it and stay there are the ones who love the unglamorous aspects, the long road trips, the sweat, the low pay (the pay for most professional athletes is not like ARod), the unforgiving schedule, and the inherent uncertainty that comes from a profession that is so fluid – where one day the best team wants you and the day the other team that will look at you is the farm club of the worst team.

Success comes from a love in what you do, whatever it is.  The day it becomes work is the day you know it might be time to consider a new path.  Athletes who play for the glory will be in store for a rude awakening.  The athletes who can weather adversity and overcome it through hard work and staying focused are the ones you know really love what they do.  The turnaround for the Tampa Bay Rays Baseball team shows outstanding determination, will, and passion for improving and bettering themselves.  They did not worry about playing as well as the perennial powerhouse teams like the Boston Red Sox.  They played the game the way they knew best and defined their run to the World Series their way and on their terms.  The way they went from the worst team in professional major league baseball to the World Series runner-up is an example of how individual athletes should approach their development.  You cannot go out there and just be in it for the win.  Unfortunately, the raw desire is not enough to get you there.  You need to be willing and able to put in the unappreciated and under valued hard work.  By doing so, you put yourself in a better position to start doing well.

As a sports development coach, I am useless to the person who just wants to play in a recreational league and get the fanfare when they score.  When someone is ready to work hard, put in long hours, and sweat – I am the perfect person for them.  I will help them get to where they want.  What I do has no glamour, other than the satisfaction in myself, knowing that I had a role in helping an athlete demonstrate their capabilities to an audience.  I do what I do because I have a love and passion for sports.  

The key to professional bliss is to specialize in a commitment to working hard.  Whatever else you do to get ahead will come after.  Do not worry about what nods you are getting at 14 to play college sports.  Keep your head down and stay focused on getting better.  A lot can happen in high school.  If you keep your options open at 14, you will have more to fall back on when you are 18.

If you specialize at 14 in football and it does not work out for you, there will be nothing else for you to fall back on.  If you play several sports and perform well in a couple of them, if one doesn’t lead to a paycheck or fame, maybe the other will.  The more options you have the less pressure you will feel on you to excel on at one, thereby making it more enjoyable.  Nobody wants to think that everything hinges on how you do in one thing.

Keep your options open and have fun, but remember you will not improve without putting in hard work.  So decide what your priorities are and then go from there.  If you don’t want to sweat or do the necessary things to improve your game, then don’t expect to play at the next level.  There is nothing wrong with playing pick-up games.  You have to be honest with yourself regarding your skill level and desire to put in the time required to make it.  Sidney Crosby, Eli Manning, Tom, Brady, Michael Jordan, and like company did not get to where they did just by coasting through life.  They assessed their abilities and accordingly set their mind on where they wanted to go.  Once they did that, they worked tirelessly to make sure they got there.  That due diligence is why they all became standouts in the professional arena.

The key thing to take away from this article is that you need more determination than skill.  And more importantly, you need more love than determination.  Therefore, you need more love than skill.  If you do not enjoy what you do, it will not matter how much skill you have because you will not want to do it anymore.  Being focused is different than specializing.  Play a lot of sports.  Stay active in many different things.  Do it because you love it.  You can decide later which one will let you do it in college or professionally.  You will benefit more from playing other sports and training for those sports than you will spending all that time training for one sport.  My program is so effective because despite your focus, I expose you to movements and drills common to other activities, thereby making you a more complete and well rounded athlete.

Stay tuned for more articles by DSWAthletes, owned and managed by Derrick Wong.  We write about all things sports.  We want to help you get to wherever you want to go and enjoy both the process and the outcome.  We will help you stay focused and in great shape.

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Lately things just aren’t the same with your partner. Something seems off, and you can’t help but wonder if there’s somebody else. Suspecting your partner of cheating can be tricky. The possibility terrifies you, but you’re also afraid of being wrong and looking like a fool who has trust issues. In a situation like this, it is wise to tread carefully.

Make sure that there are legitimate reasons for suspecting your partner, and that it’s not just your insecurity that is skewing your point of view. If you do have an overwhelming feeling that there may be infidelity in your relationship then read on for common signs of cheating, and compare them with your man or lady’s behavior.

1. Change In long held beliefs: You observe a shift in your partner’s attitude about relationships or love. It may be that your man used to condemn husbands who cheat on their wives and had strong opinions about infidelity. Suddenly, they seem more lenient with their thinking.

Maybe you’re watching TV together one night and there’s news of a celebrity couple breaking up because the man cheated. You are appalled, but he might shrug and say something like «Well, if she stopped having sex with him what do you expect?»

Pay attention to changes in long held beliefs that your partner had, he or she may be altering their view to accommodate their new thinking or behavior.

2. Trading in khakis for miniskirts: If you have known your partner for a while, then you might start noticing sudden changes in the way they dress or want to look. If your lady has always been very taken with her appearance, and she buys new clothes or changes her hair, it may not be a cause for alarm. However, if she used to dress like a frumpy grandmother to work and she’s suddenly wearing miniskirts and high heels, then you may have a problem.

3. Newfound body image issues: A sudden and unjustified change in body image is another major infidelity sign. If your partner has taken the decision to be thinner or more muscular for health reasons or has always been fit there’s probably no reason to doubt anything.

However, if your couch potato husband is not really concerned with his health, but suddenly starts spending hours in the gym because he is now obsessed with getting rid of his belly fat, then take a closer look. Also, if he refuses that you accompany him to the gym, or is presenting otherwise sketchy behavior regarding his body, he may be straying.

4. I want to be alone: Your partner suddenly wants to spend a lot of time on their own. The need for space is a major sign that something is going on especially if this request comes out of nowhere and with no valid explanation.

If you two had a fight and he or she is still resentful, then the need for space can be somewhat understood. However, if your relationship is stable and things are going great, and your partner suddenly wants to be alone, there might be someone else filling that void.

5. Picking fights: The man or woman in your life might also not only demand more space but do everything possible to create more of it. He or she might pick fights for no reason, and may make an issue of every little thing to create an illusion that you’re not getting along.

They do this to legitimize their wrongdoings and to feel less guilty. The way they figure is this; since you’re both always fighting, you are the unreasonable one and you are pushing them into another person’s arms.

6. Storming out of the house: On a related note, if your man or woman storms out after a «fight» because they just can’t take it anymore and say that they need some time to think, they may be using it as an opportunity to meet up with the other person. This technique has two major benefits.

First, it gives him or her more time on their own to cheat. Second, they can use the fights as a lever to gain the sympathy of the other person who they are cheating with. They want the other man or woman to stay in the deceitful relationship.

So they complain about their partner to demonstrate that they are being driven to cheat and so it isn’t their fault. So if every time you fight with your partner, he or she storms out there may be a good reason why.

7. Reverse psychology: When someone is cheating, he or she becomes a master manipulator. If you start noticing that your once earnest and direct partner is using reverse psychology and other weird techniques that they didn’t use before, then know that something is up. If he or she always makes it seem that you’re the one in the wrong no matter what happens. He or she may have something to hide.

8. On the defensive: If your man or lady has suddenly become overly defensive and can’t take any type of criticism, then you need to take a good look at what’s going on. If you ask him about a lady co-worker and he starts a fight, or he becomes furious after you ask him why he didn’t call if he was going to be late for dinner, there’s something there.

Ask your partner about it, maybe there’s a good reason for this newly found oversensitivity and short temper. A stressful work week or family problems may be to blame for this change in behavior.

9. Lying through their teeth: Cheating always involves lying. If you keep catching your partner in little lies, then something is up. If he said he was working late the night before at the office, then says that he was out with his boss having drinks another time, beware he may be cheating. If the little things he or she says just don’t add up, then ask them about it. If they avoid confronting the issue, you can be sure that there’s something going on that shouldn’t be.

10. Going the distance: If your partner is cheating, then he or she may deal by becoming more distant. He will avoid talking about serious subjects and only engage in small talk. He may avoid getting into conversations about your finances, work, and children if you have them or any future plans. He or she will always seem to have something on their mind and you can’t seem to connect with them on a deeper level like you used to.

11. Emotional detachment: Your partner might also disengage emotionally from your relationship. Your man used to be extremely affectionate and loving, but now you can’t get an «I love you» out of him. There might be something wrong. You’ll want to ask him why he has become emotionally detached.

He might be upset with you over something you did and is acting out, so talking about it is very important. If he just shrugs or refuses to even acknowledge his behavior or even blames you for being paranoid, something deeper might be festering under his aloof exterior and you need to be careful.

12. Loves being out alone, hates staying in with you: Does your partner seem upbeat when he or she gets home or when they are getting ready to go out, but seems gloomy while he or she is spending time with you? If you don’t have any problems in your relationship that may be causing this change in behavior, then it might be that your partner is excited about something going on outside the home, something like a juicy affair.

13. Affection overload: Some other cheaters act in an entirely different manner due to overwhelming feelings of guilt. They will shower their partners with affection, gifts and caring words. They might be even more romantic than usual and more attentive.

If this shift is sudden and you cannot find a logical or even an illogical explanation for it, then ask your partner what brought this on, they may be able to reassure you and give you a valid explanation. If you still can’t understand this behavior, it might be that your partner is cheating and using this as a decoy so you won’t suspect anything.

14. Chatter away: On a related note, if your usually silent partner suddenly becomes a chatterbox, then beware. Sometimes people who lie tend to over talk or give more information than was asked for to cover up other things. Observe this new behavior for a while, and bring it up to them if it bothers you.

15. Working a lot of overtime: One of the most obvious cheating signs is your partner keeps working overtime when this was never the case before. He or she suddenly becomes the most valuable and hardest working employee in their company.

This doesn’t always mean that your partner is cheating on you; there might be a special project that needs to be done before a certain deadline or it’s the end of the year and there’s a lot of work that needs to be done. However, if your partner seems to be the only one working overtime, and other employees don’t seem to know anything about it, then there might be something fishy going on.

16. Do not enter-work zone: If your partner used to involve you in his or her work life. Telling you all about work, inviting you to company events like picnics, having you over to meet them for lunch but suddenly starts cutting you off, something might not be right.

Maybe he or she doesn’t want you around their workplace because there’s someone they don’t want you to know about or there is something that they are hiding like all those extra projects they were working on late were fictional. If you do see any of your partner’s co-workers, they may act very uncomfortable in your presence. If there is no valid explanation for this, something might be going on behind your back.

17. Buddies no more: Similarly, if your man used to invite his buddies over for Sunday night football or Thursday night Basketball every week, and suddenly stops having them over, it may be because he is afraid that they will spill his secret or not corroborate his stories.

If he starts meeting with them outside more and more, he may also be using them as his alibi for getting out of the house. He may be keeping you apart from them because he’s afraid that they might accidently or intentionally divulge his secret.

18. Awkward friend situation: Also it may be that your man or lady’s friends keep avoiding you even though you all used to be very close. Your girlfriend or wife’s friends might do everything in their power to not see you because they can’t face you if they know of their friend’s cheating.

They might also be afraid of saying anything that would compromise your relationship and most people do not want to be a part of that. So they might avoid you all together so as not to find themselves in an awkward situation.

19. Bye Bye old interests: If your partner suddenly loses interest in activities which he used to love, then there might be something weird going on. If your man, out of the blue, starts to hate playing sports when he used to live and breathe soccer, or he stops spending his free time gardening on the weekends, then there might someone else in his life that is bringing on those changes.

20. Marriage blues: If you are married, and you notice that your husband or wife starts acting hostile or bored towards you, your children or your home life in general, there might be something fishy going on. He or she might start making references to how they misses being single or how hard it is to be married.

He or she might get rid of your children’s toys in the car or anything that demonstrates that they have a family. They may be cheating with someone and are lying to them about being married with children, and so they suddenly start rejecting their marital status.

21. Beware of the Lazy pants: If your spouse used to be active around the house doing laundry, feeding the kids, mowing the lawn, and suddenly starts becoming lazy and uncooperative, he or she may be feeling negatively towards the very notion of being married and sharing your home.

They don’t even want to try anymore, and this includes doing chores, planning family outings and vacations. They might not even want to attend important events such as holidays, anniversaries or birthday parties. This is especially suspicious if they never really had any issue with doing these things before.

22. Strange outings: Another sign that your partner may be straying is that he or she begins to go out to new places at strange times, and never has a convincing answer as to why this is. He used to hate food shopping, suddenly he insists on doing the weekly grocery shopping, and doesn’t want you to come along.

She used to deeply despise anything arty, and out of the blue, one Saturday has an outing to go to an art museum with friends. You know your partner inside and out, so if you notice changes in their favorite activities with no valid explanation, something is up.

23. Sneaking out like a teenager: If your partner is sneaking out, then he or she may have something to hide. The reason they may be going out behind your back is usually to avoid scrutinizing questions and wants to avoid lying to you. If he or she has nothing to hide then letting you know that they are on their way out shouldn’t be such a secretive matter, so beware of increased sneakiness and secrecy.

24. Is your partner an undercover agent?: You may find out that your partner has a new means of communication that you don’t know about. This includes a new e-mail address, a Facebook account under a pseudonym or nickname, a new cell phone and phone number. All of these are big red flags that you should immediately take notice of.

25. Financial infidelity: Another major sign of cheating is the odd use of money and/or credit cards. If you are used to sharing financial data between you and your partner, and he or she suddenly starts hiding credit card statements or disabling your access to an online checking account to hide cash withdrawals or other new spending habits, something weird is going on.

26. Is this my partner talking?: If your partner is having an affair, then he or she might start using different language than he used to. This includes telling more or less jokes, or using certain catch phrases. He or she may even adopt a certain way of talking or an accent that is inspired by someone else.

We tend to emulate people that we like and hang around with often. So if this is happening in your relationship, pay attention and ask your partner about it.

27. Your partner becomes jumpy and frazzled: Your man or lady might easily get disturbed or confused by mundane things. If you do something nice for him or her, they act strange. This is because they want to vilify you to justify their wrongdoing, and your nice behavior catches them off guard.

They might act disoriented and jumpy for no apparent reason. This can be a cheating sign because your partner is trying to sort out his or her feelings about your relationship but also the affair, and is likely to present erratic and unstable behavior as a result.

28. Country music anyone?: If your partner suddenly starts developing new taste in music or in food, then you might want to question him or her about it. It may be that they are dating someone who is fond of a certain cuisine or music, and they are beginning to take a liking to it. Developing new tastes out of the blue can be a revealing sign that your partner has found someone new to be devoted to.

29. What’s up with the Brazilian?: Another infidelity sign is a sudden change in personal hygiene and body grooming habits. If your man used to shower every morning and is suddenly taking several showers a day for no apparent reason, there might be something going on.

If your lady didn’t used to pay attention to her private parts being groomed, and begins getting Brazilian bikini waxes, she might be trying to impress someone else. He or she may also buy new underwear and use it, or may start putting on a lot of perfume or after shave. Pay attention to these little details if you suspect your partner of cheating.

30. Condoms away!: Another sign that there might be a sexual affair going is the increased use of contraceptive methods. Is she on the pill when you have gotten a vasectomy? Is he carrying out condoms when you are on the pill and haven’t used condoms since high school? If there is no valid explanation for this behavior, then this is a big red flag that your partner may be cheating.

31. Blue pill wonders: Another sign of cheating is that your partner is suddenly interested in purchasing medication for sexual performance. He may get erectile dysfunction medication such as Viagra. She might order breast enlargement herbal supplements or lubricant for herself. This is especially suspicious if it is done secretively through online ordering or he or she hides the objects once they arrive or takes them in secret.

32. The answer lies in clothes: There may be unexplained stains, smells or rips on your partner’s clothing. This may include the clichéd lipstick smudge on your man’s shirt, but also other types of stains and smells that just aren’t typical of your partner’s clothes. This can also lead to suddenly excessive laundry washing at weird hours of the day or night, unexplained purchasing of new clothes, or finding clothes in the trash can that your partner may have thrown away to hide evidence.

33. Knock knock, is anyone in there?: Your partner may be caught daydreaming or checked out at many times during the day, and doesn’t tell you what they’re thinking about and is unwilling to interact. He or she seems to be in another world, but denies it and can’t seem to be bothered to engage in activities with you. Your partner may just be absorbed by work or something else might be bothering them.

34. Are you more likely to reach President Obama on the phone than your partner?: Your partner suddenly becomes impossible to reach. When you call the office, they are always at a meeting or on another call with an important client. Their cell phone is turned off on more than one occasion, and the cell phone reception in their building is suddenly the «worst.» Your partner may not call you back right away, or claims to not have received your calls or listened to your messages.

Their assistant or receptionist is all of the sudden the most incompetent person on earth. In short, the fact that they have become inaccessible is everyone else’s fault but their own. All the flimsy excuses in the world cannot hide the fact that there is something sketchy going on in your partner’s life.

35. No, it’s mine!: With the advent of new technologies, there is a multitude of ways one can keep in touch with someone else. If you and your partner used to share phones and laptops, and keep them on in each other’s presence and this suddenly changes, there is a reason for that. You used to look at your man’s cell phone, read his text messages and he never even flinched.

All of the sudden, his phone has become so precious to him that he eve takes it into the bathroom. If you take a look at it, he accuses you of snooping. His laptop, which used to be your computer as well, suddenly has password protection. All of these are telltale signs that he might have something to hide.

36. Delete all: If he still allows you to touch or use his or her phone, or laptop, you find that he or she always makes sure that browser history and cookies are deleted, that their contact list is cleaned up, and incoming e-mails erased.

Maybe they’re just embarrassed of some pages they visited, but more likely, he or she may be hiding their online contact with a lover. Similarly, if his or her phone’s message list or call log is always empty, they just might be hiding something or someone from you. Look into this.

37. He or she becomes a night owl: Your partner might spend a lot of time on their computers especially late at night and after you go to bed. Sure, your man might be a porn addict, but he may also be contacting another woman.

On a related note, your partner might start talking more and more on their cell phones, and racking up huge bills. To sum it up, if there is a sudden, unexplained change in telephone or computer usage with your partner, there may be something strange going on.

38. Your opinion and advice don’t matter anymore: Another sign that your partner might be infidel is he or she stops seeking out your advice or your opinion about major decisions in their lives. They might make irresponsible big purchases or act impulsively without talking with you first. Maybe he went and spent all of his savings on a boat that you never knew about.

Maybe she decided to put up your house on the market without consulting you first. They may have quit their jobs and not even told you about it. This type of rash behavior is typical of a cheater who just doesn’t care about planning your future together anymore and doesn’t even care to ask what you think beforehand.

39. Your partner becomes a world champion nagger: A cheating partner may begin to constantly complain about you or your relationship and how unhappy he or she is. They may be overly critical of you, and suggest that things aren’t working out. He or she may pick more fights to prove this point and makes no effort to make things work. At this point, your partner may be having an affair but also thinking of ending your relationship.

Now, if you do have genuine problems between you that you are working on, then there is probably nothing to worry about. However, if everything is going fine in your relationship and you do get along; your partner may be fabricating a broken relationship to justify not only his or her cheating, but also their leaving.

40. Sex? No thanks: If your partner is cheating on you, he may suddenly lose interest in having sex with you. Even if he or she does, they’ll just go through the motions, with no shared feelings or emotions. If it’s there any sex at all, it becomes just physical. If your partner has always been a passionate lover and suddenly becomes detached or cold in lovemaking for no good reason, there may be somebody else.

41. Who are you and what have you done with my wife?: If on the other hand, your man or lady usually is usually more reserved and subdued in bed, and suddenly becomes an extremely attentive and passionate lover with exaggerated displays of affection, they may be overcompensating to deal with their feelings of guilt.

They may suggest you try new things in bed and become more adventurous. Ask them where they got this newfound fervor, and if there’s a valid explanation, then just enjoy. Otherwise stay alert. This change in sexual behavior might be a result of infidelity.

42. Extreme changes in feelings and behavior: Your partner may at times be very sexually engaged and at other times be completely withdrawn. Sometimes they shower you with affection, and other times they hardy want to talk to you and seem to avoid you.

Although, there may be good explanations for this type of unpredictable and erratic behavior, it is something to watch out for, especially if your partner used to be fairly consistent. It may be that they are cheating and are confused about their affair, thus taking out their mixed feelings on you.

43. He or she has become a complete downer: Has your partner been generally unsatisfied with their life lately even though they used to be happy? Is he or she much more negative than they used to be? This may be due to an exciting affair that they are having which has demonstrated to them how mundane their current life is. Have they become confused about their own sense of self? Maybe there is someone new in your partner’s life who is calling into question their identity and who they are.

44. Bungee jumping, here I come: On a related note, is your partner suddenly a thrill seeker when you could never even get them to go on a child’s water slide ride at your local amusement park? Does he suddenly want to get a motorcycle or a tattoo and signs up for mountain climbing classes? Of course, this might just be a mid-life crisis talking.

However, there’s always the possibility that there is someone else, perhaps somebody younger in your partner’s life that is instigating this transformation and inspiring this new attitude.

45. Low self-esteem: Another sign that your partner may be cheating is that he or she has increasingly low self esteem. This means that your partner is vulnerable and can fall prey to cheating because he or she cannot make themselves feel secure and worthy. If they believe that you are not providing them with enough approval or love and just aren’t getting satisfaction from their job, they might go to someone else from whom they can obtain the desired feelings of security and self worth.

Of course this doesn’t mean that if your partner cheats, this is your fault; your partner should have come to you first to resolve his or her issues, and low self esteem is no excuse for bad behavior.

46. Gonorrhea, herpes anyone?: A concrete sign that your partner may be straying is you have proof that they have contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and it wasn’t from you. Maybe you got a call from your husband’s physician, or intercepted an email, or found lab results by mistake. You may even have seen the actual STD on your partner’s body.

If this is the case and he or she has only gotten the disease recently, then your partner is not only straying but might even have contaminated you. So get yourself checked. If you have also gotten the STD and you have not engaged in sexual relations with a new partner, then this only serves to confirm your suspicions that your partner has been cheating on you.

47. The «friend» you never got to meet: A tangible sign of cheating is that someone new suddenly starts taking up your partner’s time and attention. Whether it’s a co-worker, a gym partner, or a friend from way back, this person seems to come out of the blue and he or she starts coming up in conversations and in future plans all the time.

Your partner brings up this mysterious friend in random conversation and they always seem to be at the right place at the right time and at social gatherings you weren’t attending. Although it is healthy to seek out new friendships, it is a big red flag if your partner refuses to introduce you to this new friend and wants to keep him or her under wraps.

48. I’m a cheater? No you’re the cheater, you cheater: A telltale sign that your partner might be cheating is that they turn around and accuse you of straying when you have given them no reason to doubt you. Of course, there’s always the possibility that they’re just jealous or are feeling insecure in the relationship. However, if you have reassured them of your unconditional love and have done more than enough to placate their anxiety, and they’re still accusing you left and right, something is definitely wrong.

The reason they may be doing this if they’re cheating is to deflect attention from their own behavior. They may also genuinely believe that you’re cheating because they become paranoid and start imagining their own deceptive tactics everywhere. Don’t fall into this trap, and don’t start accusing them of cheating either, look out for other signs to be sure.

49. Follow your gut: The biggest sign that your partner may be cheating is that there is something deep inside of you that is making you doubt him or her in the first place. Think about it; you know your partner better than anyone. Their habits, actions and behaviors are hardwired into your brain, and so if you feel it in your gut that there’s something wrong, then follow your instincts. It might turn out to be true.

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Zenit St. Petersburg forward and current star of Euro 2008 thus far, Andrei Arshavin is the man of the moment. Reports suggest that he is ready to try his trade outside of his native Russia, and he has received offers from England and Germany.

However Arshavin has stated that he is keen on a move to Spain, as he is a fan of the league, and he likes the way football is played there. Zenit boss Dick Advocaat, has also claimed in a recent interview that Arshavin is likely to join Barcelona.

Arshavin’s desire to play in Spain has now put a twist on the current Adebayor transfer saga as the Blaugrana may be tempted to make a move for the 27 year old instead. Arsenal have apparently been keen to land Arshavin and has been planning to use the funds from a possible Adebayor transfer, to buy the gifted striker while still having cash left over, having priced Adebayor at around 32 million euros, while Arshavin will cost in the region of 15 million euros. Barca however are only prepared to pay 27 million euros for the Togolese striker and thus could make a move for Arshavin instead.

My take on this, is that Barca should make a move for the man of the moment, Arshavin. He is a player who I believe many Barca fans would love to see at the Nou Camp, even more so than Emmanuel Adebayor. Also Arshavin has expressed a desire to move to Spain while Adebayor’s heart seems set on playing in Italy for AC Milan. Barcelona needs to bring players to the club who have a strong desire to play for the club and I believe Arshavin is one of them.

Russian football is clearly on the rise, it was proven with Zenit St. Petersburg’s Uefa Cup triumph over Rangers and now Russia’s run in Euro 2008. Arshavin believes they are many good players in is country which are now being discovered, and one thing is certain, he definitely is one of them.

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